A few months ago I stumbled upon a facebook page called
Introvert Dear, where they share various articles and
writings about Introverts, Highly Sensitive People, and all of us quiet types:) I seriously can't get enough of their articles every time I run across one, and I have honestly learned so much more about my personality (they totally get me)! In the past I have been very vocal on the blog about
my personality, and like I have shared before,
I am an INFJ which makes up only 1% of the population, and while my
introverted personality differs from other Introverts, there are a host of similarities in our lives that we share and that bind us together.
I think sharing about who we are, opening up, and being vulnerable (for me that's in writing) allows us to show a different side of us to people. I know a number of bloggers who have shared about their struggle with depression, eating disorders, etc. and I always love and admire that they are so honest about who they are. Therefore, being vocal about my personality is something I am passionate about and I will never get tired of sharing that side of me on the blog.
With that being said, reading articles and reflecting back on life and relationships, I have come to realize how misunderstood we as Introverts truly are. I have had people say that they didn't like me at first, ask if I am always this serious, mention that I am a very quiet person, or jokingly ask if I ever have fun. It is with that realization that I have decided to write up a list of 10 things you should know about introverts if you are friends with one, are an extrovert, or totally don't know anything about this personality. However, let me be clear to reassure you that I am not writing this post from a negative mindset or to point fingers at anyone (friend or family) but simply to shine a light on the complicated inner workings of an introverts brain:) I hope that by reading this you will learn a bit more about the Introverts among you!
- NEVER assume that we don't like you or that we "hate" you (true words from past experience)! Okay....so we might be super serious when we first meet you (or even if we have known each other for years), awkward, and not say much, but give us time and make an effort to talk and start up a conversation or keep it going....please don't put everything on our shoulders. If you make an effort you will find that first impressions of Introverts are wrong 99% of the time! We really don't hate people....contrary to popular belief.....so give us a chance (or a second chance).
- You might make social interaction and outside get togethers a high priority, but we as introverts prefer to spend time alone, get chores or homework done, or finish a project we have been working on. This happens because we tend to see life very logically and often assess everything that needs to get done in our life (tackle that to do list), so most often we choose school or work over social settings because those are important to us, and when we don't have school or work to do we might just need time to recharge.
- Don't let our sometimes "hermit" like nature fool you, we really do want to get together with you or get to know new people but we don't want to bother you by making the first move, sending the first text, or sometimes starting the conversation. We often feel like we are bothering people by texting first and we hate to be a nuisance, so when you get the chance reach out, because chances are we were actually thinking about you!
- With that being said, if we say NO when you ask us to do something it doesn't mean you should stop inviting us. Keep reaching out and offering the invitation and one day we will probably come. However, don't be forceful or pressure us in your invitation, be understanding about our personality, and maybe even ask us "what would you be up to doing?"
- PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, give us at least 24 hours notice about things! If you want to go do something don't text us an hour before that outing and expect us to excitedly say yes. Sure, we might say yes, but in these cases that's rare because we don't have adequate time to prepare or even get ready and we really won't be in the best frame of mind. So the next time you want to go out to eat, see a movie, visit a friend, or get together to watch a movie text us the day before....or better yet let's set up a plan 3 days before:)
- We like being around groups of people sometimes (our hidden talent is people watching), but if we are still getting to know each other let's grab coffee together instead of going to a party or hanging out with a large group of people! WE prefer to get to know people and open up more in one on one situations, over group settings. Same goes for if we are catching up with old friends after a few years.
- In regards to group settings, don't expect us to act like everyone else and freely mingle....in fact, if you tell us to go mingle at an event we will want to crawl under a rock. We will probably just end up standing near a table by ourselves, drinking 4 glasses of water just so we have something to do, smile at everyone who passes by, but never work up the courage to initiate conversation. So if you see us standing there looking uncomfortable because of all the people (or because we just drank 4 glasses of water) just say hello!
- Plain and simple we aren't known to have a lot of friends, but I'm not saying that in a negative or depressing way. We prefer to have a handful of close friends over a slew of acquaintances. We function this way because it allows us to cultivate true authentic friendships over surface level friends......honestly we really do dislike fake people so if you "pretend" to be our friend we are going to see right through the mask and the two of us will never be close.
- We will probably think differently than you 100% of the time! We like details and all the information up front so that we can meticulously think through every scenario and option determining what is best before we commit to something. When we go into something blindly we are going to get stressed out, so we are the students who send our teachers (or professors) emails like 3 times before the first day of class and then send them multiple texts or emails throughout the semester...LOL!
- Most people's saying might be to "let loose and live a little," but for us that just causes undue stress. So when it comes time to being spontaneous, we really do hate it most of the time! Stretching beyond our comfort zones or control is not something we like to do, and again we are going to think through all the details and if it doesn't seem logical we won't want to go along with it.
Do you fall into the Introvert category?
How do these 10 things align with your personality?
Do you have a friend who is an Introvert?
-Madison
