The Art of Saying No

The Art of Saying No

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Do you ever feel the pressure to please people but at the same time stick to a schedule that works for you and flows with adequate time to get everything accomplished?

With the way my life has been changing lately (graduating college, working part time, subbing, studying, etc.) I have started to feel the weight and pressure of overbooking myself, agreeing to do to much, wanting to help everyone, and still have time to get done what I need to do in my own life to help my family and study to pass my certification tests.....not to mention my own personal sanity and getting enough sleep. 

I have always been someone who could easily say "NO" when it came to things that went against what I believed, didn't see as right, or were to overwhelming for my introverted personality. Believe me, if you call me and want me to be somewhere or doe something in an hour I will probably say no because that is to short of notice. However, I am also a person who likes to be "helpful"....... I love helping people out, especially if I am the only one available to help them (or that is what they make it sound like). So often times even if I don't really want to do something I say yes because I feel guilty or think I have to. I think this comes from my desire as an "advocate" (INFJ) to find or help a cause.....sometimes I like to be needed. However, this comes with it's share of downsides..........one being that I sometimes find it hard to say NO. 

I HATE to hurt peoples feelings, and I hate letting people down. If someone asks me to do something I always want to help them, a lot of times I will gladly say "YES" especially if they seem like they are in a tight spot. However, sometimes this comes at a cost to my schedule and time. Since I am currently trying to study to pass my two certification tests as well as help my family out with my responsibilities, I have to think about the time I devote to each, in relation to the other things I agree to. 

Saying NO is sometimes hard for me because I feel like I am letting people down (and I don't like disappointing people). In the past when people have made assumptions about me or said something in regards to my character that wasn't true I sometimes take it personally......its part of my nature. But I often loose sight of the fact that it hardly ever is true, and I can't let what others think of me determine the decision I make. I can't let others possible disappointment determine my agreeing to something that I don't have time for. My mom has a saying "What's good isn't always what's best" and I have learned recently that this needs to become a motto for my life:) 

For years I have always been known to tell my friends "It's okay to say NO" (because that is another thing my mom has always said to me) and now that I am put in positions where I have to make decisions based off of my desire to help people and my need to also do what is best for my life and schedule, I realize that I kind of need to start taking my own advice. However, saying NO sometimes takes practice. You know that scene in 27 Dresses where Kevin gives Jane a lesson on saying NO (because she always agrees to to much out of her desire to help everyone which comes at a detriment to her time, emotions, and schedule)..... that's what I have been trying to practice. 

Obviously I am not sharing this to say that we need to just go around saying "NO" to everyone and everything, but the art of saying NO comes with our realization of making choices and decisions based on what is BEST. Often we make decisions quickly without thinking through all the options and logistics in regards to not only what we are being asked, but also in regards to our life. In order to make "wise" decisions and learn to say NO when need be, I have started to ask myself questions:

Do I really have time in my schedule to add this? 

If I agree to this will I still have time to complete my other tasks and responsibilities? 

Will it be a detriment to my health, sanity, and sleep?  

Will this benefit me in any way?

Do I have other plans this week that take up a good bit of time?

Am I their only option or do they have other people they can ask?

Sometimes saying NO means making a hard decision for the right reasons. The more we commit to and say "yes" to the more our schedule gets busy and time gets away from us which inadvertently leads to stress, which isn't good! I have learned that I have to let go of worrying about what the other person will think because if I agree to more than I can handle I am not doing myself any favors. In some instances saying NO can be easy, but often times it is hard when another person(s) is involved. However, at the end of the day we have to remember "what's good isn't always what's best," take a breath, say NO, and move on. 

Do you struggle with saying NO?
How have you learned to say NO?

-Madison

Blown Away

Blown Away

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Skirt: Thrifted

Shirt: Old Navy

Sweater: Thrifted

Belt: Vintage

Jacket: Thrifted (Forever 21)

Scarf: Old Navy

Tights: old

Socks: old

Shoes: Thrifted
**Pictures by me**

As I start the official third week of my spring semester I have to stop for a moment and reflect back on all of the things that have happened just within these first few weeks. It never ceases to amaze me at the plans God has that I don't even know about, but then again it is on the days that I ask and allow God to write my agenda that he opens up the door of possibilities.
Considering this is my last semester on campus, living, working, and taking classes (I start student teaching in the fall), one of my goals for the semester was to make the most of every opportunity! While I have been at college for the past two years, I don't think I fully grasped the reach of opportunities life on campus and working for the university holds. I am surrounded by a wonderful group of coworkers in which there are a host of opportunities to be the light of Christ around those who don't know him. I also am in the classroom with high school students two days a week and see first hand what it is like to love students even when they are trying my patience.
 Coming into this semester I have learned that when I ask God for opportunities he leads me to the doors and gives me the courage to knock on them and walk through......the most amazing part is that he keeps those doors open for me to come back to, because God is a God of crazy plans and has endless opportunities before us if we only have the faith and courage to open our eyes and recognize them for what they are!
Even though only 20 days have gone by since the first day of class, God has already opened more doors of opportunity than I could ever imagine! I have been blown away not only by the things he has done in my own life, but also in the life of those around me! With that being said, and considering my goal for this semester I seek to wake up every morning and ask God to give me the courage to recognize and seize the opportunities before me, to write my agenda for the day, to give me the ability to love others just as he loves them, and to equip me with the words to say when he opens up the conversation!
Therefore, I challenge you to go out into the world and ask God for opportunities, and if you don't know where to start just look at Matthew 7:7-8:

 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened unto you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened."

Has God given you opportunities in this season? 

-Madison

To Be Thankful

To Be Thankful

Thursday, November 24, 2016

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! I seriously can't believe that it is already the time of the year where we stuff ourselves till we almost burst and then fall into a daze once the triptofan hits :) While there are so many holidays that we celebrate throughout the year, Thanksgiving is one of  those holidays that seems to kick off the entire holiday season, full of life lessons, family, thanks, cheer, and Christmas spirit. However, before I get caught up in talking about Christmas lets turn back to Thanksgiving and reflect on what it truly means to be "thanful!" 

I have to say that the idea of Thankfulness has taken on an entirely different meaning for me over the past couple of weeks. I feel as though we often focus on being thankful for the good and positive things around us and try to forget about the things that might not have been all that great. However, I think that if we could start to focus on the things around us that might have started off as negative situations, we would soon find there are truly more things to be thankful fore than we realize! 

With that being said, I think it is important to be thankful for the blessings in our life, but at the same time, we should reflect on the things that we often fail to give thanks for, because they themselves are likely to be things we don't want in our lives. 

Keeping this idea in mind, on Thanksgiving day I am Thankful For......

1. The lady at the campus parking office who called me 10 minutes before my car almost got towed, and who also erased 8 of my 10 citations (that I didn't even know I had) from my parking account. 
2. The opportunity to work in college, have a steady salary and meet incredible people.
3. For friends who know exactly what I am thinking and who stick by me in difficult situations.
4. People, places, and things that stretch me beyond my comfort zone even though it might be the scariest thing EVER!
5. Opportunities....to meet new people and be a positive influence.
6. Being awkward (as unfortunate as it is sometimes) because without that side of me there would be no funny stories to tell....
7. Still being single....yes, I did just say that, but seriously being single is a time to cherish for its freedom and ability to be available and openly used by God. 
8. Only having 2 more semesters of college left.....yes that means that the future is looming ahead and I don't exactly know what will happen after graduation, but I am thankful for an uncertain future. 
9. Only living an hour away from my family!
10. Having a crazy family who laughs at the most ridiculous things, has the funniest inside jokes, and who baffles everyone that we meet with our closeness. 
11. Lessons...both good and bad, whether it is someone correcting my mistakes, learning from others mistakes around me, or simply learning general life lessons.
12. The Blogsphere....so much has happened over my time of starting the blog and I couldn't be more grateful for all of those experiences and for all of you who are such lovely and loyal supporters of the things I am passionate!
13. Coffee.....gotta throw that in there because it is a substance to surviving college (kind of) and being a "hug in a cup."
14. Valleys....valleys are the hard journeys of life that we don't want to be happy about and we want to feel down in the dumps about, but in order to reach a peak on the hill we have to first go through valleys. 
15. New phones....or might I say, an iPhone......yes, I just upgraded from my prehistoric slider phone. Let's just say I am SUPER happy:)
16. Parents who support me in college, in my interest, and in following my dreams.
17. Siblings who make life so much more interesting and who inspire me daily!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

What are the difficult things you are thankful for?

-Madison

Trudy Cooper

Trudy Cooper

Monday, August 17, 2015

I might not be outgoing, drive a sports car, or have my pilots license and Trudy Cooper might just be my opposite in every way possible but when it comes to her simple fashion I am happy to oblige myself in copying the things she wore.

I don't know if any of you are familiar with the recent abc mini series Astronaut Wives, but I have absolutely fallen in love with the show, and sadly its last episode will be airing this week (sniff). However, I must say that apart from the fashions of the show (totally swoon worthy) the general story line is quite gripping. From looking at the lives of the astronauts wives and all they go through, to witnessing the retelling of America's space history, this show is inspiring in more ways than one.

 Before I go on with today's post however here is a short synopsis of the TV show: 

ABC's new television drama series based on the book by Lily Koppel, "The Astronaut Wives Club" focuses on seven women who were key players behind some of the biggest events in American history. As America's astronauts were launched on death-defying missions, the lives of their young wives were transformed, seemingly overnight, from military spouses to American royalty. As their celebrity rose, and tragedy began to touch their lives, they rallied together. abc.com

Okay....okay...now I know that you all have been anticipating a post that I have been hinting at and excitedly mentioning over the past couple of weeks (plus a treasure I picked up on my trip last week), well......this is it!!! Now, from your perspective it might not seem like that exciting of a post so let me give a little back story as to why this post is so exciting for me :)

First, as I mentioned before I have fallen on love with Astronaut Wives Club for more reasons than one but one of the biggest is the fashions. The series spans from 1959-1971 so you can imagine the evolution of fashion and style throughout the show (utterly breathtaking!!). Second, one of my favorite characters is Trudy Cooper. As I also mentioned above she is my TOTAL opposite in every way! She has a pilots licence for one thing, she drives a sports car while all of the other wives drive station wagons, she is quite independent and outgoing, and she hardly ever appears in a dress (capris and slacks most of the time). However, I absolutely love all of the 50's-60's capri outfits she sports throughout the show and while I was at Goodwill a few weeks back just happened to find this sweater top and pair of capris . Lets just say I was dancing around in the changing room and thinking "OH MY GOSH......I look like Trudy Cooper!!!!!" and already planning a post in my head (plus the sweater top is mustard yellow....bonus). 

Top: Thrifted; Pants: Thrifted (Talbot's)

Now you are probably wondering: 

"But Madison, you said you picked up a treasure while on your trip and were going to share it on the blog???"  

Okay, now I am getting to that :) What was the treasure you might ask? Well......first off for those of you who follow me on Instagram, you might remember a picture I posted two weeks ago featuring a DIY LIFE magazine Here. Well, when I was first planning the post I wanted to use a magazine as a prop and thus endeavored to make my own LIFE magazine with the original Astronaut Wives Cover. However, that brings me to my treasure......while antique shopping last week I just so happened to find a stack of magazines at an antique store (the first store) in Gruene Texas and was perusing the covers looking for anything interesting. Well, I just so happened to come across a LIFE magazine (I have been wanting one for awhile) and looked at the date which said 1962......then I read the cover title......I couldn't believe it.....the cover story was the orbit of John Glenn, the first American to orbit the earth as part of NASA's group "Mercury Seven."  John Glenn is just one of the seven astronauts in the TV Show but the fact that I found a life magazine from 1962 with the article was beyond me......I was FREAKING OUT (as you can imagine). What are the odds that I would be planning a blog post inspired by the TV show Astronaut Wives and then find a LIFE magazine with an article about one of the astronaut's orbits and his family, particularly his wife Anne who was another one of my favorite characters!!!! (Side Note: for those of you who have seen the movie BELLE, the actor who plays John in the movie plays John Glenn in Astronaut Wives....just FYI) What is even cooler (back to real life) is that after his time as a Test pilot with "Mercury Seven" John Glenn went on to become a Unite States Senator (he is now 94). 

And before I stop myself from rambling to long about the Glenn family, I must say a few things about Anne Glenn :) First off, as I noted before I loved her character in the show. She is very supportive, a great friend, and very quiet. When you first meet her in the show she doesn't every say a word and come to find out she actually stutters, but that is what makes me love her even more because she doesn't ever let that stop her from supporting her husband and friends. Okay, I am done :)

Shoes: Charlotte Russe ; Shades: Forever 21 ; Magazine: Antique Store

Toby makes a good prop too !

Now, what more can I say in this post.....hmm.......I could go on a on about so many things so let me talk a little more about the shows costumes and about my ensemble. As I have said the show spans from 1959-1971 thus throughout the episodes we witness full skirted 50's dresses, to tailored and printed 60's dresses and jacket sets, then towards the end moving into brighter colors and crazy prints of the 70's. If you ever need inspiration for the 50's-60's this show if full of swoon worthy ensembles. Which brings me to what I am wearing in today's post. While my ensemble might not be identical to anything that Trudy actually wore in the series it is definitely something that she would have been happy to wear on a daily basis. 

Usually I am not one to wear many pants or capris (to me skirts are more comfortable) but when I found this pair of Talbot's capris at Goodwill I was happy to try them on and thrilled that they fit! Most often on the blog you readers see me wearing ensembles inspired by the 40's or 50's but I must say I am really LOVING this 1960's capri look.......super comfortable, especially with this Rayon/Nylon blend sweater that I picked up at Goodwill that same day. All in all I was so excited to work on this post and bring to life the inspiration I drew from a character in Astronaut Wives (maybe we will see a few more insp. posts from characters???). Also, can I just say that it is so exciting when you discover a new way to do your hair! I wanted to copy Trudy's hair to the best of my abilities and while the picture of Trudy below is a shorter curl, most often in the series Trudy sports a looser wavy curled style (which I tried to copy). Lets just say I think I know how I will do my hair for the first day of the Fall semester. 

Trudy vs. Me

Me as an Astronaut Wife

Sometimes it is fun to do something a little different than just an ordinary outfit post. Thus for someone (me) who tend to freak out, critic, and copy costumes/outfits from movies and TV shows this post was right up my ally. 

I hope you all enjoyed a little something different with all of my enthusiasm, rambling, and excitement! 

Have any of you seen The Astronaut Wives Club?

Would you wear a 1960's capri ensemble? 

Have you ever found any great LIFE magazines?