Showing posts with label Personality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personality. Show all posts

To The Girl Who Struggles Making Friends

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Skirt: Thrifted  |  Shirt: Thrifted  |  Shoes: Keds (Poshmark)  |  Purse: Thrifted (Fossil)  |  Earrings: Target (old) 

If you read the title and though “that describes me”, I’m here to tell you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

You might feel as though you are alone in this season, but you are not alone in the struggle. 

I’ve always considered myself to be one of those people who can count her close friends on ONE HAND...or maybe a few fingers (if I’m lucky, maybe in some seasons of life, two hands). However, I’m not one of those lucky people who has the same friends for their entire life. Sure, there are still a couple friends I had when I was a younger that I still stay in contact with, but my life has very much been one that encompassed the “friends for a reason & friends for a season” saying.

When I say “friends” I don’t just mean the people whose numbers are in my phone, the people who follow me on social media, or the ones I know will say hello to me when I see them in person and maybe start a conversation...it’s more than just the surface level, I know you, you know me, beyond the trivial.....friendship to me goes beyond that and is deeper.

I count more people as “acquaintances” than I do as friends, and if your someone who knows me and your reading this, please don’t be offended. I think in a world of social media and extroverts we’ve come to redefine friendship as the number of people who follow us, or who are in our phone contacts, or who we see frequently...but sometimes true friendship comes from those you don’t see frequently, but those who are their when you need them and check in on your life.

I've always been someone who struggled to make friends. When I was younger I used to think that there was just something wrong with me...that was before I knew I was an Introvert and that my difficulty with conversation and fear of meeting new people was just part of who I am. However, even though I now understand myself more and know my strengths and weaknesses when it comes to conversation and human interaction the whole "friendship" aspect of my life is still a struggle. 

I mean, gosh darn it....I will be 25 in November and I still haven't figured this thing out!  

As an introvert though, I crave and value deep and meaningful relationships that are created through connection. I want someone who will be there to listen to my deep thoughts or crazy ideas or ask how I’m doing, over wanting to just go out. Friendship in my mind is more a dance of slow intentionality rather than spontaneous events. 

I struggle making friends because I’m an introvert...and I am not using that as an excuse (because trust me, I have stretched myself a LOT this last year), but being an Introvert influences so much of my social life because I’m not naturally outgoing and it takes awhile for people to see the real me (not to mention it takes awhile for me to open up). However, I also struggle making friends because not many people take the time to get to know someone, beyond a first (or second, or third) impression...we live in a day and age where we want instant results and we think that scrolling through their Instagram feed or watching their stories gives us all the information we need...but true connection comes through authentic effort!

In all honestly, in this season of my life right now, I feel as though I have more acquaintances than real deep friendships, and while that can be frustrating at times, I am really okay with that. I am a very independent person, so unlike my Extroverted counterparts, I can easily live a happy life in my own world...however, that doesn't mean that I don't long for people who fill my life up as much as I would hope to fill theirs. 

This last year I have really put myself out there to meet new people. Was it scary? YES!!! Do I still get freaked out being around them even after 8 months? YES!!! Have I met some great people? YES!! Do I still struggle with conversations around them? YES!! However, life is about doing the things that scare you and challenging yourself to grow! I am on a journey of learning to make friends, because making friends as an adult is HARD!!! It was so much easier in high school when friendship just naturally blossomed because your paths crossed over with people who did similar things as you. 

In this season of life, I have learned that I sometimes have to reach out to others, whether it is people I have known for awhile or new people I meet. I often reach out because I know what it's like not to have someone reach out, and I never want others to feel that way. However, one downside to my Introverted INFJ personality is that I have a habit of easily walking away from friendships that are one sided...some call it the "silent door slam". And while that sounds so harsh, sometimes as people we need to make hard choices that are best for us mentally and emotionally, and that's okay. It's okay to "unfriend" people in real life or to take a step back to assess the situation. It's okay to walk away when your lives go different ways. 

So to the girl who struggles making friends, know you are not along! Know it's okay to let go of those relationships that have frayed over the years. Know it's okay to be your own friend for a season. However, never discredit the growth that comes when you challenge yourself to get outside of your comfort zone and do the thing that TERRIFIES you...meeting & talking to new people! 

Do you find yourself in a season like mine?

How have you challenged yourself to make friends?

- Madison

Teacher Style: How Being an Introvert Helps me be a better Teacher

Monday, April 23, 2018

Skirt: Thrifted | Shirt: Forever 21 | Shoes: Charlotte Ruse | Bag: Target | Earrings: Forever 21


I don't think I first realized when I chose Education as my minor how hard it would be for me to work up the courage to be in a classroom with students and interact with other teachers? Sometimes, as an Introvert I tent to hide behind my personality, making it a barrier that keeps me from taking risks and getting outside of my comfort zone, and with that I often loose the opportunity to grow. Just being in college, going to class every day, and being an RA was a stretch, but I learned how to survive as an Introvert and even thrive in the midst of uncomfortable and hard situations. 
Being an Introvert is powerful, but it can often times become an excuse or a crutch to some (myself included). It takes more courage, pep talks, and deep breaths on my end to achieve something that others can easily go and do in the blink of an eye without thinking about all the people, factors, etc. As an Introvert I have a unique since of the world, but I also have a hightened awareness for everything that is going on and working out the logistics for things ahead of time.......It can be a blessing and a curse:)
Someone on Instagram recently asked me if I had any tips for being an INFJ and a teacher and I thought I would take her up on explaining what I have learned along this crazy and amazing journey!

As a teacher (substitute and future teacher) being an Introvert is my biggest strength, but also my biggest weakness......I know, that is contradictory (but INFJ's as people are constantly a contradiction already). I say this because through being an Introvert (specifically an INFJ) I have a unique since of my surroundings and how I see the world. As an INFJ I am titled as an "advocate" because we see things in the world we want to fix, latch onto something in order to change how things are done, and seek to make a difference by inspiring others....that is an INFJ's inspiration for life, but also what makes a GREAT teacher. However, being an Introvert means we can be drained by people, business/stress of life,and confrontation.....also in the job description of being a teacher. 
Thus, being an Introvert can be one of my biggest strengths because I am passionate, want to engage and inspire students, pour positivity into their life and constantly think outside of the box to get students involved. Not only that, but many Introverts and INFJ's are Highly Sensitive Persons (HSP). I wouldn't necessarily call myself a 100% HSP, but I definitely fall into the 50% range. With this I am often hyper aware to things that are happening, the way people are feeling, and notice things that others disregard. As a teacher I have learned that I often notice the quiet students on a daily basis. Maybe it is because I can relate to them (I was them in school) or maybe I see them as having untapped potential that no one knows about. I always notice the kids walking in the hallways holding books, the kid who sits in the corner of the classroom working alone, and the students who are wrapped up in their own world of art and stories, blocking out the loud kids around them. I often call these students "the invisible" because I don't think many other students or teachers notice them or their uniqueness, but I love that I know who they are without even talking to them. Being an INFJ is a strength because I see how I can change a classroom, student ideas, perspective, work ethic and engagement, and when I get freedom in classrooms that is exactly what I try to do. However, being an Introvert as a teacher can also be one of my biggest weaknesses!
I don't necessarily say that it is a weakness that cripples me with fear and inadequacies which keep me from being successful, but it takes soooooo much more work and courage on my end to put into practice all of my ideas and engage with students and teachers. The teaching comes naturally, but the courage takes some work (and pep talks & LOTS of prayer). I also internalize EVERYTHING....all of my emotions so I can easily develop anxiety and tension in my shoulders that doesn't make life fun. I remember when I first started my Methods internship before student teaching (I was in a classroom with higschoolers 2 days a week) and I had to learn to walk through the hallway of crowded students, greet them at the door, interact with them, and positively keep them on task. I had to kind of learn to be an authority figure, but in a good way, and that took some work. That semester was hard, because I had to learn to stay confident (or at least look confident) around high schoolers and teachers (even if I might be kind of freaking out on the inside). However, that feeling didn't last forever! Once I got to know the students and teachers it got easier. The same can be said about my student teaching. This time I was in the classroom with students Monday - Friday. The first week at each of my placements took some getting used to, and took copious amounts of courage and deep breaths, but after the first week I found my place. I made connections with students and they began to accept me, and I was blessed by amazing mentor teachers who encouraged me and made me feel like I belonged! While the teaching atmosphere isn't always the most comfortable for me, I have to remember I didn't necessarily choose teaching for my own comfort, but rather because of the opportunities I have with students. 
As I moved out of student teaching, graduated, and started subbing I tackled a new challenge in being the TRUE authority figure and teacher in the classroom. Many times I subbed for my past mentor teachers so I knew the students, but sometimes I was walking into unfamiliar classrooms with students who were strangers. Subbing was definitely more of a challenge as an Introvert because I had no mentor teacher to lean on and guide me, it was me and a class full of students. It could be hard at times. but through my time in methods and student teaching I had experience and knew my potential. I knew I could be the cool, welcoming, nice teacher, who could enforce classroom management, but I could also be someone to lay down the rules and walk around the room keeping kids on task.
Teaching and subbing as an Introvert (and INFJ) is hard because many times the situations I find myself in go against what my mind wants to be comfortable. I have to STRETCH and CHALLENGE myself every time I get in my car to drive to a job or step into a classroom and being around that many people can be draining (so when I get home I usually hide away in my room for an hour). Despite the challenges it can bring up, it has made me a stronger person. So yes, being a Introvert can be a weakness, but when it comes to what truly matters at times it is my biggest strength and I don't think I would change it! 

Are you a teacher?
What is your biggest challenge as a teacher?
Can you relate to any of the things I have learned?

-Madison 

Traveling As An Introvert

Monday, February 12, 2018

Skirt: Vintage | Sweater: Faded Glory | Tights: Amazon | Socks: Forever 21 | Shoes: Target |
Jacket: Thrifted (London Fog) | Scarf: Old Navy (old) | Beret: Amazon 

If you have been around this corner of the blogsphere for while and have followed along on my journey you know how passionate I am about sharing who I am as an Introvert and what that means in different facets of my life. Through the last couple of years in learning more about who I am I have learned how to maintain my energy and sanity amidst a busy and sometimes crazy life. Thus, when it comes to traveling as an Introvert, it can be both emotionally and physically draining more than the typical person. 
On my trip to New York in January I learned just how taxing travel can be for an Introvert, but I also learned how to cope with that to keep my energy at a constant level. Not only can travel be fast passed, but it can be stressful, as was our trip the first couple of days. Our original flight got canceled due to weather so all my carefully articulated plans went out the window and I had to rework everything (not to mention we lost almost 2 days of city time). On top of our flight, our first night in New York (really our first 3 hours at 1:00 am in the morning) were not what I had expected at all and emotions were running high as quick decisions and judgments had to be made. All in all there were a host of unexpected things that came up before and during our trip that to the typical personal are a lot to handle, and to an Introvert (INFJ) are even more overwhelming. 
Thankfully, both my best friend and I decided to just breathe and not try to rush or overpack our days in New York. Even though we lost two days (we were able to add two days on) we didn't want to make our trip stressful by over booking ourselves. We ended up only doing 2-3 major tourist stops each day and made it back to our air bnb no later than 7:00pm every night. 
As the personality of Introverts go, being around lots of people for extended periods of time is what drains us. However, even being in a huge city like New York with lots of people and sometimes riding crowded subways wasn't all that draining for me (probably because I like people watching). The thing that always drains me is freaking out when the schedule or day doesn't go according to plan or when I am going non stop 24/7, while mentally thinking about what comes next. I had to learn to live in the moment while in New York, because otherwise I would have missed so many of the important or little things that the city had to offer. 

So....in a nutshell what did I learn about traveling as an Introvert?

  1. Make plans, but be FLEXIBLE: I am a planner, its part of my nature and personality and helps me not stress out about the need to be spontaneous. However, life rarely goes according to "my plans" and I have to be willing to let go and change things up. If I am flexible to change I don't allow stress in. 
  2. Take your time in the morning: Nothing sets your day off to a rough start being rushed! Set your alarm where you have plenty of time to get up, get ready, and eat something (or drink coffee) before you head out for the day. If your alarm just so happens to go off later, don't stress it. Get mentally prepared for the day. 
  3. Live in the moment: this seems like a bit of a stretch because it lends itself to being spontaneous (which I am not), but what I mean by this is enjoy every part of your day. If you are at a museum, enjoy taking in the sights and displays (don't think about the place you need to go next). 
  4. Take time to recharge during the day: Sometimes for me this was just sitting still for 10 minutes on the subway getting caught up in my thoughts. Other times this was stopping for a cup of coffee and taking a moment to be still amidst the constant moving. While this definitely didn't recharge me all the way, it helped me refocus and breathe amidst a busy day. 
  5. Drink your coffee and tea! So I'm basically immune to the caffeine in coffee, so sometimes it's more of a comfort thing, but my mornings and days aren't the same without a good warm cup of Jo! If you are into tea, that's good too. Typically I drink coffee in the morning and tea at night.....it's the start and finish to my day! 
  6. Don't Stay out late: I think this goes without saying....but after a long busy day of travel and sight seeing return back to your accommodations early in the evening. 
  7. Take a Slow lazy night: So during our trip we didn't actually eat dinner out anywhere in the evenings, we made all of our meals at our air bnb and sat on the couch in pajamas and fuzzy socks watching The Great British Bake Off like old ladies....it was great! 
  8. Always take a book: in true Rory Gilmore style always carry a book with you when traveling. You can read it in the car, on the subway, or on the plane....its your best friend. 
  9. You need your music: music lends itself to helping us escape and relax, so every body (especially introverts) need music when traveling. It can help you fall asleep in a new place, drown out the noises of the plane, give you energy, you name it! 
  10. Don't loose yourself: I think we as people can get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and through this loose who we are. The same thing can be said for introverts who go somewhere out of their comfort zone. Just because you are traveling doesn't mean you have to stop being an introvert or be more extroverted. Sure, you might have to stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone, but you don't have to compromise who you are to still get the most our of your experience or trip:) 


What are your trips for travel?

-Madison

Surviving College as an Introvert

Monday, November 27, 2017


Looking back on college I am constantly surprised that I survived in a sea of people! I knew college would be a stretch for me, but I don't think I knew quite how much of a stretch until I moved in and it all became a reality. The strange thing about my personality and college is that when I started I only knew I was a quiet and shy person, but I hadn't yet discovered what that really meant for me. I didn't yet know the expanse of what it meant to be an Introvert and that the word "Introvert" completely captured every emotion and feeling that went on in my head. 

Through being at college I not only learned so much about myself and what I was capable of, but I learned so much about my personality, specifically what it meant to be an Introvert (INFJ) in a heavily "peopled" place and how to survive in a sea of people. 

As an Introvert (if your are like me you can relate) we are people who thrive being alone, doing things by ourselves, dislike talking to people we don't know, and avoiding social events or large groups of people at all costs! So looking at a college campus from an Introverts perspective EVERYTHING basically goes against what we are feeling, thinking, and saying in our mind. Let's see, there are dinning halls with many students every day, you sit in class surrounded by 30-50 strangers, you are put in groups to work on projects with classmates you don't know, everyone around you is involved in clubs and organizations, the "thing to do" is go out on Thursday nights, football games are a common occurance for college students to be surrounded by fellow students yelling and cheering at the top of their lungs, tailgates are tradition, and on campus events draw crowds of students who are usually just there for the free food and Tshirts.......did I miss anything? College for an introvert is everything that makes us uncomfortable, anxious, stressed, and retreat into ourselves. 

So how does an Introvert survive? I think for me, the thing that helped me survive as an Introvert was discovering myself. I discovered who I was, learned about my personality, and came to realize that the way I was feeling was perfectly normal for 26%-50% of the population (and the 1% of us INFJ's). I learned that my need to be alone was normal and I accepted that as a part of myself. When I accepted who I was through my personality, it made me feel more at ease in a world that could be a bit overwhelming & crazy. Fore example, I remember taking a book with me to breakfast and lunch every day my first semester.....there isn't anything quite as nice as dissapearing into a book while surrounded by people, it gives you your own world to thrive in and I loved that. I even continued this book reading tradition into my other semesters and even started bringing a book with me to class and reading while I was waiting. 

Looking back at college, I am still dumbfounded at the things I did! Knowing so much about my personality now I always wonder if I were to go back, would I be as sucessful as I was? Sometime I think being so naive about my personality for so long helped me push myself beyond my comfort zone? Other times however, I think it was the recognizition of my personality that actually helped my push myself beyond my comfort zone to try new things (like become an RA). 

Whatever the case, I believe the one thing that helped me survive college as an Introvert was accepting who I was. Being in a world of people who were constantly doing things, constantly meeting new people, going places, and being involved with clubs an organizations, I learned to accept that I wasn't like everyone else. Sure, I eventually became an RA and got involved with my staff team as well as an on campus small group and Bible study, but beyond that I was just me. I didn't go and do all the "things" the "typical" college students did, but I was okay with that. 

I had discovered a few years before starting college that I was different than a lot of people my age, mainly because of how I dressed. However, as the years went by I discovered that wasn't my only difference from other college students. Not only were my views of relationships, fashion, modesty, language, actions, and hard work different, but my view's of "fun" were to.....it was confirmed (as I had already known) that I was VERY old fashioned! 

Call me a grandma, crazy cat lady, whatever you want, but for me those terms encompassed who I was and the way I spent my time outside of class (or in class)...LOL:) With that, I had one Best Friend in college who I met my first day (she was a blessing & God send) and she was also an Introvert so we did a lot of stuff together whenever we were not in class. Honestly I don't know what I would have done without her? I think we would both agree that we would have become hermits if we hadn't met, so it's a good thing we did. 

That's the second thing that helped me survive college as an Introvert, having someone that understood me. Not everyone understands Introverts, but fellow Introverts always understand (for the most part) and that helps you feel like you are not alone. Most days I was perfectly fine going back to my room after class to study, or staying in on Thursday nights with a movie and Icecream, or traveling home on the weekend, but when I was feeling like I should probably talk to another human, she was always the person I turned to. We had standing lunch dates during the week and always had a schedule we stuck to so we knew when we would see each other and when we both needed time alone....it was great! 

So here's my GRAND takeaway.........embrace who you are! You know the Dr. Seuss quote "why fit in when you were born to stand out!" that is 100% how you should approach college as an Introvert. If you spend your time trying to fit into the typical "college life" and "college routine" that everyone else falls into when they go to college you will find yourself lacking, feeling disconnected, loosing yourself, and probably having a severe case of anxiety or panic attacks, so don't do it to yourself! As an Introvert we view the world differently, and therefore college for us is a whole new world in itself, but it is a world we have the ability to thrive in and conquer. BE YOU! Embrace your quirks, habit, and nights in, because that is who you are! Find someone who understands you, you don't have to have a TON of friends, all you need is one and you will both be there for each other when you need it! 

While college was a HUGE STRETCH for me as a person and as a Introvert, I wouldn't change the experience because I learned so much about who I am. Because of my experiences in college, I know why I feel the way I do at parties with tons of people I don't know. I understand why staying at home in my room with my cats and a movie or a book is my favorite pastime. I can laugh and make fun of the fact that I only ever went to one football game in college and didn't live your typical college life. However, embracing me, embracing my introverted personality is one thing I am proud of and will forever make me a more confident person (as odd as that sounds).

Were you an Introvert in college?
What were your tips for surviving college as an Introvert?

-Madison 

The Decision That Changed My College Experience Forever

Monday, November 13, 2017

Shirt: c/o Four:Eight Shop
Skirt: The Skirtery 

Everyone goes into college with ideas of what it will be like. Sometimes those ideas are lofty and far reaching into great achievements, new friend groups, on campus organizations, and a boat load of fun. However, I was never one of those typical college bound girls....my ideas of what college would be like consisted of classes, studies, projects, surviving without my family, traveling home on the weekend, the uncertainty of new friends, and no real desire to get connected with on campus happenings or Thursday night shenanigans. Nevertheless, college proved to be so much more than I had imagined. Not so much in the way of it being to much to handle, but rather that God had another plan of what he wanted me to accomplish in an unfamiliar place and boy is he the craziest!

If you have been around here for awhile you probably can recall me mentioning that I was an RA (Resident Advisor) while at college. I got the job half way into my second semester and kept it up until my last semester of college (this fall) when I moved home for my student teaching. However, while that might not seem like that big of a deal to you, it was a HUGE deal to me because I never could have foreseen getting a job on campus, and much less being in charge of students who lived on campus.....the whole timeline and occurrence was truly ordained and destines by God to grow me in more ways than I could have known and put me in the midst of the biggest opportunity for witness I had ever experienced!

I still remember the day I received the email which said "We are pleased to offer you a Resident Advisor position beginning immediately!" And while getting the job wasn't all that much of a shock it was the process that was CRAZY! You see I randomly decided that I should apply for an RA position on campus (I think I just took a leap of faith and didn't even know what I was doing) which meant submitting an application and going through two rounds of interviews which included a panel interview with 3 people and a group interview for half a day (that in itself was not a typical Madison thing to do...talking to people I didn't know.....WHAT!). If that didn't push me out of my element enough, the fact that I immediately got one of the vacant mid semester openings a week later did.....oh, and did I mention that my RA placement was in a sorority house (insert wide eyed and shocked face emoji here)!

Here is the background on all of this:
1) I was (and still am) the person who didn't understand the need for sororities. I thought they were a waste of money, changed and conformed girls, sometimes put them in bad situations, and thought the idea of hand signs and chants was bit ridiculous. 
2) The RA positions I was interviewing for were for the next spring, but I was offered a position to start IMMEDIATELY which meant skipping all the training that new RA's typically go through to prepare them for the job and just being thrown into the midst of it! 

Now that you know a few facts, you can see how getting the job and then finding out where my job would be were all HUGE surprises and pure humor on God's part. So after completing my paperwork I started the job, which in itself had a lot of responsibilities, but responsibilities that nonetheless helped me grow:

RA Job Responsibilities:
1) Hold daily office hours.
2) Enforce the university rules and policies and make sure all resident follow them. If they fail to do so you are required to document and/or fine them based on the policies broken. 
3) Attend staff meeting ever week and all staff meetings once a month. 
4) Plan events with your staff team for all of the residents in your area. 
5) Complete rounds on your assigned night(s) with another RA. Rounds consist of walking through ever house in your area (our area had 8 houses....4 of them were sorority houses), both upstairs and downstairs. Rounds during your assigned shift were at 9:00pm and 12:00am. 
6) Respond to any calls on the duty phone while you were on call (this means 2:00 am phone calls about broken toilets).
7) While on call you must report any major policy violations (drugs or alcohol) or unsafe situations to the University Police, wait for them to arrive on scene, and stay close by to write a report. 
8) Handle roommate, suite mate, or resident complaints and disagreements. 
9) Complete safety and maintenance checks every month within your house. 
10) Hold floor meetings two times a semester for residents to go over policies and checkout procedures. 
11) Make fun and creative door decks with your residents name every month
12) Design and make a fun and creative bulletin board for your house every month. 
#11 & #12 were my personal favorite parts of being an RA :) 

Maybe you are still curious about how this decision changed my college experience forever? Here's the thing, getting the job as an RA put me in a place where I was daily outside of my comfort zone. I was no longer just the random college girl who lived two doors down, I was the RA of the house and knew all 25 girls who lived under my roof. I had to daily challenge myself to say hi to my resident, talk to my co-workers, and acknowledge the many faces I now knew.

Not only that, but I joined a staff team, surrounded by over 9 people that I didn't know, and for this introvert that was something I never had worked through before. I had to learn to work with new people, get to know them, plan events with them, back them up when they were on call, ask for help when need be, express my opinions, and at the same time be completely different than everyone else around me. I don't think I ever expected to know that many people at college, but after becoming an RA I not only knew people on my staff team, but I got to know other RA's who worked across campus.

I no longer walked to class seeing faces I didn't recognize or know, because I now actually knew people.....by name (I think my mom is still shocked by this). I knew my fellow staff members, my residents, and even my team members residents. I actually hung out with people other than my ONE friend at college because as an RA we would have "staff bonding" days, dinners, all staff events with all the RA's on campus, and random grocery store runs.

With all of that being said, I still today believe that this all happened for ONE reason! God ordained this to do something in me that I never would have allowed him to do otherwise. He ordained it to STRETCH my introvert self beyond my limits, instill the confidence in myself that I really could do hard things, gave me the courage and strength to talk to new people, the wisdom to deal with difficult and hard circumstances, and the boldness to share my faith. I think if anything he allowed me to become an RA to give be a platform to be a positive influence. He took me (Madison), this quiet and old fashioned, high value, strong moral girl and placed her in a Sorority house where I daily had contact with girls who lived much differently than me. He took me (Madison), this quiet and sometimes ridiculously nervous girl and placed me on a staff team of which there was only one person who shared my same faith (until another girl joined us two semesters in) and thus gave me the BIGGEST stage for witness......whether that witness was in sharing my faith with fellow staff members and my boss, praying with a resident, sharing my relationship views with the girls in my house, or even just living a different life in the choices I made and expressing my views on a few occasions. Through being an RA I learned BOLDNESS and I learned how different I was from the world and nearly every other college student on campus, but I also learned that as an Introvert I could still thrive in an environment filled with people.

If my decision to become an RA taught me anything, it taught me about the REAL MADISON. It showed me the courage, strength, and boldness I possessed that I didn't even know I had. It showed me that God can do the unimaginable in your life and grow you exponentially more than you could have ever foreseen. It showed me that by being yourself, people respect that as being a unique part of who you are and that being yourself is the best thing you can ever offer the world (or college for that matter)!

Sure, I was exposed to more "college life" than I had originally expected by becoming an RA (I will forever be able to bust people for smoking marijuana....yes, you read that right), but I also got to do a lot of cool stuff and use my creative skills as part of my job. And sure, there were times that I didn't make the most of the opportunities that I had, but in the midst of it all I know that the opportunities I did take were defining moments in my life that forever changed me and changed my college experience. I could seriously write an entire book on this topic (as you can tell from this long post) but I will end it here, because through it all God taught me to see the open doors of opportunity around me, muster the courage to walk through them, and trust that he would keep them open for more of his crazy plans.

I always believed God has had CRAZY plans for my life and college was just many of those plans rolled up into one that reminded me that when I think I have control over the future, it is never really me, but God who succeeds!

- Madison

10 Things You Should Know About Introverts

Wednesday, August 16, 2017


A few months ago I stumbled upon a facebook page called Introvert Dear, where they share various articles and writings about Introverts, Highly Sensitive People, and all of us quiet types:) I seriously can't get enough of their articles every time I run across one, and I have honestly learned so much more about my personality (they totally get me)! In the past I have been very vocal on the blog about my personality, and like I have shared before, I am an INFJ which makes up only 1% of the population, and while my introverted personality differs from other Introverts, there are a host of similarities in our lives that we share and that bind us together. 

I think sharing about who we are, opening up, and being vulnerable (for me that's in writing) allows us to show a different side of us to people. I know a number of bloggers who have shared about their struggle with depression, eating disorders, etc. and I always love and admire that they are so honest about who they are. Therefore, being vocal about my personality is something I am passionate about and I will never get tired of sharing that side of me on the blog. 

With that being said, reading articles and reflecting back on life and relationships, I have come to realize how misunderstood we as Introverts truly are. I have had people say that they didn't like me at first, ask if I am always this serious, mention that I am a very quiet person, or jokingly ask if I ever have fun. It is with that realization that I have decided to write up a list of 10 things you should know about introverts if you are friends with one, are an extrovert, or totally don't know anything about this personality. However, let me be clear to reassure you that I am not writing this post from a negative mindset or to point fingers at anyone (friend or family) but simply to shine a light on the complicated inner workings of an introverts brain:) I hope that by reading this you will learn a bit more about the Introverts among you! 

  1. NEVER assume that we don't like you or that we "hate" you (true words from past experience)! Okay....so we might be super serious when we first meet you (or even if we have known each other for years), awkward, and not say much, but give us time and make an effort to talk and start up a conversation or keep it going....please don't put everything on our shoulders. If you make an effort you will find that first impressions of Introverts are wrong 99% of the time! We really don't hate people....contrary to popular belief.....so give us a chance (or a second chance).
  2. You might make social interaction and outside get togethers a high priority, but we as introverts prefer to spend time alone, get chores or homework done, or finish a project we have been working on. This happens because we tend to see life very logically and often assess everything that needs to get done in our life (tackle that to do list), so most often we choose school or work over social settings because those are important to us, and when we don't have school or work to do we might just need time to recharge. 
  3. Don't let our sometimes "hermit" like nature fool you, we really do want to get together with you or get to know new people but we don't want to bother you by making the first move, sending the first text, or sometimes starting the conversation. We often feel like we are bothering people by texting first and we hate to be a nuisance, so when you get the chance reach out, because chances are we were actually thinking about you! 
  4. With that being said, if we say NO when you ask us to do something it doesn't mean you should stop inviting us. Keep reaching out and offering the invitation and one day we will probably come. However, don't be forceful or pressure us in your invitation, be understanding about our personality, and maybe even ask us "what would you be up to doing?"
  5. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, give us at least 24 hours notice about things! If you want to go do something don't text us an hour before that outing and expect us to excitedly say yes. Sure, we might say yes, but in these cases that's rare because we don't have adequate time to prepare or even get ready and we really won't be in the best frame of mind. So the next time you want to go out to eat, see a movie, visit a friend, or get together to watch a movie text us the day before....or better yet let's set up a plan 3 days before:)
  6. We like being around groups of people sometimes (our hidden talent is people watching), but if we are still getting to know each other let's grab coffee together instead of going to a party or hanging out with a large group of people! WE prefer to get to know people and open up more in one on one situations, over group settings. Same goes for if we are catching up with old friends after a few years. 
  7. In regards to group settings, don't expect us to act like everyone else and freely mingle....in fact, if you tell us to go mingle at an event we will want to crawl under a rock. We will probably just end up standing near a table by ourselves, drinking 4 glasses of water just so we have something to do, smile at everyone who passes by, but never work up the courage to initiate conversation. So if you see us standing there looking uncomfortable because of all the people (or because we just drank 4 glasses of water) just say hello!
  8. Plain and simple we aren't known to have a lot of friends, but I'm not saying that in a negative or depressing way. We prefer to have a handful of close friends over a slew of acquaintances. We function this way because it allows us to cultivate true authentic friendships over surface level friends......honestly we really do dislike fake people so if you "pretend" to be our friend we are going to see right through the mask and the two of us will never be close. 
  9. We will probably think differently than you 100% of the time! We like details and all the information up front so that we can meticulously think through every scenario and option determining what is best before we commit to something. When we go into something blindly we are going to get stressed out, so we are the students who send our teachers (or professors) emails like 3 times before the first day of class and then send them multiple texts or emails throughout the semester...LOL! 
  10. Most people's saying might be to "let loose and live a little," but for us that just causes undue stress. So when it comes time to being spontaneous, we really do hate it most of the time! Stretching beyond our comfort zones or control is not something we like to do, and again we are going to think through all the details and if it doesn't seem logical we won't want to go along with it. 
Do you fall into the Introvert category?
How do these 10 things align with your personality?
Do you have a friend who is an Introvert?

-Madison 

As Seen On My Blog

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Skirt: Thrifted
Shirt: Vintage
Sweater: Thrifted + DIY
Tights: Old Navy
Shoes: Target
Purse: Melie Bianco


I LOVE having a blog, and being a blogger has truly become a HUGE part of who I am on a day to day basis. I find myself thinking like a blogger when I reach for my phone to take a picture of my ice cream cone, make note of a perfect photo shoot location, or immediately start planing an outfit/post based off of the dress I found while shopping. However, with that being said, I have discovered a different side to blogging that at times is hard for me to wrap my head around, and with that, it is the realization of being visible. 

That might sound weird, but I have always been the girl who preffered to be in the background if I had a choice.....I am a behind the scenes kind of person most of the time, but as a blogger I never realized how visible I would become to people. This might sound weird, but people actually see me now (okay, that does sound weird...) and see my life! I started blogging to share my loves and interests with people but I never expected to be recognized so much for it by the people around me....Okay, so yes, being a blogger is who I identify as, but it has also become a definition and label that people place on me after they learn about it. It becomes even more obvious when they exclaim "Oh my gosh I love what you are wearing! You always look so cute!" Truthfully, I do love getting compliments, but I am the worst person in the world at responding to compliments because to me I am just an ordinary person who does what she loves and doesn't deserve to be elevated by those around her or seek out attention. However, when people voice such sweet compliments I feel as if they often see me as a super talented person who is kind of "famous" to a degree and I often feel like they have elevated me to a level of "perfection" in their eyes.....a level that I don't place myself on or even see myself.  

Maybe the though of being visible and seen for who I am with all of my interests and talents isn't a bad thing, but sometimes I feel like I don't deserve the attention or praise. I do what I do and I am who I am because that is the best version of myself and a version I happen to LOVE! I don't try to be "perfect" or "the best" or an "over achiever" but so often those are the labels people give me. Thus, as a blogger, my life is more on display than it used to be, and maybe because of that I actually get a glimpse of seeing myself through others eyes. Sure, it's still weird when I meet people and they tell me they follow me on Instagram, or they comment in person on my latest post, or even when they look at my blog or Instagram for the first time (in front of me no less) and then somehow change their whole perspective of who I am. 

I think this whole idea of being VISIBLE stems from the fact that I am typically a pretty private and reserved person, but as a blogger I seem to present a different side of myself and open up. Being a blogger and calling this space my own is almost like living inside a room surrounded by windows for anyone to peak inside, sure they have curtains in which to keep certain things to myself, but most of the time they are open for the view. So whoever you are, wherever you are from, just know the fact that you care about my life, me, and what I love means THE WORLD to me......but just know I am far from perfect....no matter what my life might look like on my Blog or Instagram I am still me :)

______________________________________________

As for the outfit in this post, let's just say that it was very Noelle Downing inspired, plus I kind of created my own DIY version of her "As Seen On My Blog" sweater which might just be the greatest thing EVER! Interesting fact, I didn't want to pay/buy the original of this sweater so I decided it would be "pretty easy" to stitch myself; much to my surprise that it would only be 3 Twilight's (as in the movies) later when I finally finish it, but I am so excited with how it turned out! 

Do people ever see you for someone you don't see yourself as?
What are your thoughts on being visible? 

-Madison

Outfit: Introversion & College

Monday, September 12, 2016

Shirt: Luella
Skirt: The Skirtery
Jacket: Target
Shoes: Target
Sunglasses: Five Below
Scarf: Vintage
Watch: Sam Moon

I have mentioned frequently on the blog that I am an introvert and to be honest, it shouldn't come as much of a surprise considering that a majority of bloggers (or at least the ones I follow) are moderate to severe Introverts; that is why blogging is such a HUGE part of who we are. With that being said, while I have mentioned my personality many times on the blog I haven't ever really talked about what it means to live as an Introvert, especially in relation to Introversion and college. 

Whenever I think about the fact that I am in college, my Junior year no less, I can't help but always get this feeling that I have done the impossible! I don't know why I always feel that way, but maybe it is due to the fact that being in college is such a HUGE STRETCH for me? Granted, most days I am completely fine, but when I realize that I live away from home (on my own), am surrounded by hundreds of strangers, daily am in situations of "people overload," and now with my job, most days I must talk to people I don't know, it always seems like I am living a life that I never knew I would be able to. 

Crazy thing is, I never realized that I was an introvert until maybe my Junior year of high school. I always just thought I was a quiet and shy person (which is true) but I didn't know that there were actually specific personality types that went along with these traits! Therefore, when I finally realized this I took a test and found that I was an INFJ (the 1%) which means I am 85% Introverted, 69% Intuitive, 69% feeling, 93% judging, and 81% assertive. Realizing that there are different types of personalities, and especially different levels of Introversion definitely helped me understand myself more and how my mind works. 

College has been a complete game changer for me and has done some crazy things to me as an Introvert. Two semesters ago I applied to be a Resident Advisor (RA) up at college. The crazy thing about my applying to be an RA, was that the job entailed me to basically be an extrovert with my resident, or at least when carrying out my duties. I knew that when I applied, and I truly believe it was the idea of a challenge that inspired me to go through with the crazy plan. Even more astonishing was that I received the job just a few weeks later and was asked to start immediately instead of waiting till the next semester (which meant no formal training). Talk about jumping in HEAD FIRST!

 Being an RA has completely changed my life....in my job position there are many times where I can become very extroverted, especially now that I am closer with all of my my co-workers. Its crazy to see all of the people that I have met and grown closer to all because I took a leap of faith on a challenge and did something CRAZY! The funny thing is that as an RA, most days I will be walking across campus, or to class and see people I know and actually say "hi" to them because I KNOW PEOPLE NOW at college (did you hear that mom!). 

Some days I love the idea of meeting new people and talking to them, and then other days I go to BIG college Bible study parties and think...."Man, I am such an Introvert who is WAY out of her comfort zone!" But you know what, that is Ok! It is Ok to have days where I am out of my comfort zone because life isn't perfect and its often all about pushing ourselves beyond our boundaries to achieve something GREATER, and even in those weird situations, I always leave learning something (in the instance above I learned that college guys are absolutely CRAZY and completely immature.....but at least I will live longer with all of the laughing). However, even when I am out of my comfort zone and need to recharge, there is freedom in taking time for myself (or an entire weekend) in watching Netflix, reading a good book, single Goodwill shopping dates, Target runs, and lots of coffee to refuel my Introvert levels.

College life as an Introvert is a struggle at times, but it is a struggle and journey that has taught me sooooooooo much about myself. It has taught me that challenges are good things and that they help me grow. It has taught me that when I put myself out there to do something that is sooooo "not me" I will actually be more successful than I think. It has taught me that I actually CAN meet new people and make more than 1 friend in college and go to lunch with them, go to Bible studies with them, talk and just hang out. Sure, I still need days for myself, and I might avoid grabbing lunch at the dinning hall sometimes because #people, but I have grown to love the opportunities I have had to grow. I never would have been able to fathom all that has happened to me in college, much less everything I have been able to accomplish as an Introvert, but it has been totally worth it! 

With all that being said and with the times I am challenged to be extroverted, I am still 100% an Introvert, through and through, and proudly wear my Introvert Girl Gang shirt because we have to stick together! As an Introvert (if that is you) you are unique. People might not always understand who you are (ok, most always) or realize that you need time to recharge and reasses life, but always remember that you really can do things that you never thought you would! Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and jump into a challenge! Challenges are good for us, and if you take them every once in awhile you will grow and learn more about yourself and your abilities.

Maybe that is one reason that style means so much to me? As a reserved and introverted person I tend to say that clothes sometimes talk for me (you wouldn't believe what comments I have gotten from people) and also boost my confidence so much (check out Jessica Boyer's Latest Post on outfit confidence)!! Specifically this ensemble, because it says soooooo much about who I am: classic, with a little sass, a pop of pink, and a LOT of coffee....PLUS you can't forget about the all to IMPORTANT "Introvert Girl Gang" tee which sums up who I am and gives me LIFE! I actually wore a similar combination of this look for my first day of class and I love that in wearing it I let everyone know "whats up"............I'm an introvert and I'm going to EMBRACE it!


Any of you Introverts stretch yourself in school?
Are you part of the "Introvert Girl Gang"?

-Madison